Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 5:34 PM
最近比较烦, Frustrated!



to my non-chinese readers, SORRY.. decided to use chinese for today’s blog, besides giving varieties, I felt that at times, using Chinese, it helps me to express more.

歌仔都有的唱,“最近比较烦,比较烦,比较烦”

那你问我, ‘烦什么?’
我也不知道,烦这样,烦那样,烦有的,烦没有的,烦过去的,烦未来的,反正觉得烦就是了。烦工作,烦读书,烦功课,烦事奉,一些不方便说的,一些说了也没有用的,一些根本都不需要去想的也一起烦。。真的是烦死人了!越写越烦。气!
我这几个晚上都没得好好入睡,我有试着不去烦啊,想一些不烦的事,可是想来想去,到头来还是烦!当我深入的想一想,反而觉得我所烦的就是不知道自己在烦什么,矛盾!真是自讨苦吃。。嗨!所以咯。。是几烦一下的!

那天星期四晚上小组,当敬拜赞美时,一位组员说,我们当中有重担的要把一切交托以神,神要我们完全的相信他。我倒觉得,神当时在和我说话。
神:‘ivy, 你到底要烦多久?你到底在烦什么?’
我:‘神你不知道吗?你难道也不明白吗?我心所想的,所求的,所烦的,你都不晓得吗?’
神:‘我知道呀!我听到啊!你不是已经交托给我了吗?你忘记我在掌权了吗?那你还要烦多久呢?你要我怎么做?’
我:‘我。。我不知道,我知道你掌权,知道一切都瞒不过你,也知道如果没有你我会死得更惨,我知道你的计划更美好,所以我很想很想放手,试着去放手,可是为什么它一直一直的在烦我,要我花那么多心思,费那么多力气,给了希望,失望也很快,我也知道,这可能不是很好的选择,可是我又不舍得放弃。我真的真的很烦。神,我累了,我放弃了,从新交给你吧,救救我吧!’
那时,眼眶里满了眼泪,慢慢流了。。我深知神在安慰我,神说,他也知道‘放手’是不容易的,‘完全的交托’也需要很大的勇气。可是他希望在我里面能看到的是‘信心’,看到的是他的心。

虽然这两三天里,我努力的不去想,也试着把一却交托,我承认,很多时我在逃避,可是我也很感谢神,应为他从不离开我,总在我身旁不让我一个人去面对这一切。
虽然很难!很难!我也得的放手,只应为我神掌权!
谢谢你神!爱你,爱你,再爱你!

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@ 11:39 AM
Blackoutzzz



Thursday night was the 5th time of power failure after my coming back from the Youth camp last week.. just in a week time.. 5 times of power is really ridiculous!! Just yesterday itself, twice.. aduh.. unbelievable.
after back from CG, was pretty exhausted. Reason because, I did not slept well on wed night. I woke up at 5.30am on wed to attend the morning prayer meeting, then at night I just cant sleep.. dunno why.. struggled till after 2am..only manage to sleep slightly. Half awake, half sleep.. So, I was pretty tired.
The weather on Thursday seem fine, at least after work there was no rain..so I decided to go for a jog.. alone.. by the time I went to the botanical garden, it was 6pm, quite dark.. quiet and scary.. but apa boleh buat.. already there.. I went to the stairs.. walked up and down the stairs.. gee.. my legs were killing me..then I walked one round, ¾ jog another round… pretty satisfied.. hehe.. thank God for good weather, even it was a bit humit. Went home, tired, then… power failure.. cold down myself a bit.. then bathed, power came back. Get ready for CG, was eating oranges, then found myself a bit hungry.. BAMMA!! I forgotten to take any meal tat day.. I did not have breakfast nor lunch. Wat more dinner, coz power failure.. so doink leh..
Thank God for aunty’s (viviana’s mom) fried meehoon and porky curry in CG.. thou I cant really take curry.. hungry punya pasal.. lasak saja lar.. sakit lain cerita.. haha..
Went home early, around 11pm to find out tat POWER FAILURE AGAIN!!.. duh~~.. one whole nite.. dad said since 1030pm.. so we waited.. feeding mosquitoes (they must be having great party there).. until.. 1am.. the lights went on.. we were like.. ‘praise the Lord’ thank You Lord’.. haha.. then went to sleep..
.. what is wrong with SESB?? ..
can anyone tell me?

2 Comments


Thursday, August 28, 2008 @ 12:43 PM
my journey : Seoul, South Korea II


our days on the Osan-Ri Prayer Mountain, Seoul
this is where we sleep.. 3 of us slept upstairs..the rest downstairs..
the Prayer Grottoes, which is very well known. the experience was simply awesome..there i found my first love, my encounter with my lovely Father & Saviour & Friend.
the Prayer Conference. total of 5,000 registered. awesome speakers.. packed like nobody's business.. in the midst.. we have to fast 7 meals.. which was truly awesome experience. glad i can do it.. and i will do it again!! help me God.. hehe
the FOOD..my favourite part... love the bibimbap and the Bian Tang the most.. yummy yummy..
dun ask me why.. but i'm so crazy about vending machines.. just cant help snapping them.. a lot more but some duplicates some no chance to take. just too many
Big lilies.. fuyoh!!

indeed an Awesome God i've got... Love You!!!

stay tune for the tour...

1 Comments


Wednesday, August 27, 2008 @ 2:47 PM
Frustrated! yet with Hope!


psalm 4:1
Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
i hate my messiness...really really hate..

the untidy working table..
the so unorganized person..
the 'cannot find it' excuses..
the 'dunno go where' excuses..
the 'forgetful' excuses...

arggggghhhhhhhh..........just hate it..hate it..hate it..!!
not just 'dun like it' but HATE it.!!.

i've been trying so hard to mend it.. i failed over and over again... seems like never ending story.. i dunno what's wrong with me..really cannot tell.. i tried.. but.... haiz.. that... leads to frustration!!.. how i wish i was like someone who is tidy and neat... aiyoyoyo...someone says 'next to holiness is cleanliness..' Oh NO!!! am i under bondage or someting? Tell me about it!!
so doink ohhh...
doink..doink..
doinkkkk..

this is the song the Lord spoke to me this afternoon during
the Mid Day Prayer Meeting:
..(orignated from a BM Song, can't find it in youtube)
Teach me Your Way o Lord
and I'll walk in Your truth
Give me an undivided heart
that I may fear Your name
I will praise You, forever and ever
with all of my heart
with all of my strength
with all of my life
I offer to You Lord
let Your will be done in my life
teach me Your way..
Father God, help me Lord.. help me.. in my desperation, hear my cry Lord.. show me Your way..teach me Your way. Thank You for giving me hope when all seems hopeless.. help me to praise You forever and always.. that i'll be the living sacrifice to You Lord. Amen.

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Saturday, August 23, 2008 @ 9:19 PM
my journey : Seoul, South Korea I


I guess I better start of with something here before I get people screaming at me for not blogging about my trip to Korea.. well.. you can go to sophia’s bloggie to find out more, but I think.. I’ll blog something different here. I wont be showing much of my pictures here, you can check it out on my facebook, Ivjoy, for here I will blog by categories (try to b a bit systematic.. which is my worst area)..paise.. Let’s get it started.. Part 1, I’ll be talking about my flight journey.. for now, let the pictures speak a bit..
After Sunday service at COHS (20th July), 4 of us travelled to KK to meet up with the rest of the 6 in Menumbuk via Speedboat.. then we went to KK, had lunch, then went ASC to clean up, getting ready for ASC 7.30pm chinese service, thereafter to the airport. Before travel, I was excited to find out that we actually arrived at the Icheon International Airport, it is a new airport, very canggih one, summore huge.. and also excited over the airline Asiana Airlines. I went online to check on the flight.. no bad after all.. interesting.. but I also complained about the time of traveling. ‘why wanna take midnight flight? Cannot see anything in the dark? Summore so high up.. total darkness!’ so, tat was wat I carried up on my way from KK to Seoul. when i was on board, to my disappointment, no individual screen.. anyway.. i spent my time listening to in-flight fm.. which was not so bad afterall..but the songs kept on repeating..as if listening to the tracks.. hehe.. the stewardess were really good, very helpful.. and the food was good too.. i had beef & rice.. yummy.. about the 'darkness'.. when I woke up at 4am, i was in awe of the SUNRISE.. gee.. sun rises up high on the air.. about 15k miles above sea level.. simply awesome.. complaint was gone.. only praise and thanksgiving.. AWESOME!! thank you Lord.
arriving Icheon International Airport... cool airport... the tour guide greeted us well.. with suit, smart.. tat was the first & the last time we saw him in suit.. haha.. thou he is a HongKie.. but quite Korean look.. bcoz of some miscomm..we waited at the airport for almost 3 hours. just to wait for 6 singaporeans.. so we were a bit restless.. so walked around the airport.

that's all for journey part I.. will come back soon for 2nd part.. stay tune.. check out facebook for more pictures.. hehe

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Saturday, August 16, 2008 @ 5:05 PM
August Birthday


5th – Vincent Tsen (Lbn)
7th – Wei Kian (Miri)
8th – Teresa (Lbn) – me buddy
10th – Sarah Ong (Aus)
19th – Jia Zhen (Lbn)
20th – Allister Tan (KL)
21st – Jade Fu (KK), Esther Kang (??mana kau?)
22nd - Melvin Mau (KK)
29th – Caleb Thien (Lbn)
31st - Kenin (Miri); Priscilla P (Lbn) (updated)
(did i miss you out? sorry, and please let me know)
Sorry guys, just realised I’ve missed this out.. my wishes and prayers go to you whenever I remember you. For those who are walking close with the Saviour, keep up the good work, continue to serve, stay close my dear, for it is worthwhile.. for those who are not, my prayer is that you will meet Him one day and come back to His embrace.

My prayer for you this day..
Father, I thank You for each and everyone of my friends. Thank You for the friendship they shared, the love we have for one another in You .. Lord, as they celebrating their birthdays, I pray Lord that You will bless each of them with Your love, bless them richly, abundantly. Grant the desires of their hearts. Bless them with good health, lovely families, bless the works of their hands. For those who have not know You, give them an opportunity to come to know You Lord. Thank You Lord, for You are a faithful and everloving God. We Bless You. Amen!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! !

2 Comments


Monday, August 11, 2008 @ 1:20 PM
Long Hiatus..


sorry sorry... sorry for the lOoong hiatus...

i've been quite busy with what is on my hand....thousand apologies..

i have been posting my korea photos in a few places.. learning to use a host to hold my picturezzzz... until now also not yet finish uploading.. therefore you will understand why i have not been updating my blog.. you may wan to take a look on my pictures at http://s49.photobucket.com/albums/f283/ivjoy/ or my facebook has a few.. minor one.. photobucket will have more complete one..but i havent got time to finish uploading it yet.. hehe.. so..stay tune from time to time.. sorry ler..

i just came back from KK, 2 days ago.. left for KK on tuesday, the 5th, all by myself. first ferry at 7.30am.. the ferry got no aircon.. so hot..summore so noisy with babies crying.. aduh... then by bus from menumbuk to KK.. haha..met up with jean, annie, man2 and sng.. had my lunch at ASC Cafeteria.. then off shopping at 1Borneo.. hehe.. tat's my only free time ler...
then on wednesday, was at ASC attending the Diocesan English Youth Camp Final Meeting. it was a long one..but thank God 90% are set before the camp. then had sushi lunch at 2pm at wagamama with jean.. it was a great time spent.. yummy yummy and great fellowship.. thanks jean.. ;-), then parents arrived.. met up with them and then off we went back home and rest.. thursday was one whole day at Queen Elizabeth HOspital.. blood test, xtray.cardiology clinic, welfare department... we spent about 7 hours at the hospital.. it was really tiring.. but thank God it was over.. next is just waiting for dad's coronary angiogram on the 1st sept.. is going to be another one week in KK. please pray for us..pray for dad, pray for speedy recovery. and the whole process will run smoothly. then on friday morning, my parents and i hoop on the earliest ferry express back home.. it was soo tiring.. but i'm glad i was there with my parents. after came back, i have STS classes to attend on the weekends... and today is the day i've actually have time sitting down and sorting out my works.. then.. darryl came and said hi and had a long chat.. it was a great catchupz.. hehe

so.. wait a little longer please.. i will blog about my korea trip.. soon... i try.. bear with me.. hehe

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used to be quiet..but now QUIET NO MORE..

loving God..
loving people.. specially da Youthzz..
not forgeting Jagung(sweet corn)too..
working for God..
working for the people..specially da Youthzz..
Wanderer..
Thinker..
Wonderer..
DayDreamer..


thoughts

totz of wat I wish for my Blog..
be A place ..

* to give Glory to God;
* to know me MORE
* to learn wat i've gone thru
* for encouragementz & funz
* for precious momentz
* to inspire others
* to express myself, my inner totz
... and you tell me..


desire


"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek HIm in His temple."
~ Psalm 27:4


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